|
|
 |
|
I see myself as an unconventional Dhamma Practitioner without any formal path, practice,
or teacher. My birth name is Susmita Barua. You may just call
me Mita (which means 'friend' or "shore"). I was born in Jalpaiguri, south of Darjeeling and raised in the early 1960's and 1970's in a suburb of Calcutta, India in a very tiny minority immigrant community of Bengali Buddhists. These Buddhists somehow survived in the coastal Chittagong area of Bangladesh, as Buddhism declined, decayed and eclipsed in mainland India (see Barua Buddhists). My mother Manjushree gave me the secret nickname 'Muni' (meaning sage),
which is a rather awkward name for a female child. Only my mother and late eldest brother (who named me 'Susmita') called
me by that name. My father often affectionately addressed me as 'Ma' (meaning mother, a common tradition in Bengal).
I am the third child in our family in between two older brothers and my younger sister Kalpita. I still have the somewhat jolting memory
of my earliest dream of waking up on this plane, like a leaf falling through a spiral. This and other early
dreams made me feel that this world is a continuation of the dream world. Even as a little child I used to wonder about
being a lone Buddhist among all my my friends who were not! When I was about seven years old, I had a vivid
luminous dream where I was peeping from inside the earth (agartha?) and witnessing celestial Buddha in a standing position giving his first sermon to his five disciples under a tree. All of them had glowing light bodies and robes of white light surrounded by
golden halo! This luminous dream was the answer and made me feel very safe and blessed. I
also recall often falling asleep silently chanting the three refuge vows and the Buddhist blessing, "May all beings be happy! As a little child I was quite fascinated with colors and especially
with the colors orange and yellow. Most of my early childhood drawings revolved around the Sun and the Lotus and certain Alpana motifs.
Success is not a place at which one arrives,
but rather the spirit with which one undertakes and continues the journey. - Alex Noble My father Netra Ranjan
Barua was an active Founding Life Member of Bengal Buddhist Association and
despite his failing health did his best to peserve the legacy (of many pioneering Buddhism revival work in modern Bengal and
India) of my great grandfather Bhikkhu Chandrajyoti, better known by his birth name as Karmayogi Kripasaran.
From very early on I have always been an observer of life and I noticed the many inequalities in terms of gender,
age, caste, religion, wealth, social status, skin color and such - that existed in Indian society and still does in various
degrees in all cultures around the world.
Two of the most awe inspiring childhood memories I recall
now were hearing the sound of the Ocean from a distance and encountering the vastness of it for the first time when I
was about seven years old; and getting a very heavy "Children's Book of Knowledge" as a gift from
my uncle when I was about twelve. Like most children I asked many "why" questions, most of them stayed with me till
now. My early fascination with fables, jataka stories and fairy tales gave way to mysteries and adventures when I got exposed
to some foreign classics in the middle school library and I got hooked into reading things beyond my age and curriculum. I
remember shedding lot of tears while reading "Uncle Tom's Cabin", David Copperfield, Lincoln's biography and such... wondering how one human being could be so cruel
to another? One basic question for me was, "how do human children born with basic goodness and sanity grow up to be in this sorry situation?" I still have fond memories of childhood visit with Dipama and Dipa and my father's great love and concern for their well-being.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Peace Fair 2007 www.peace2day.org |
Professionally I was trained as a geographer, social scientist, research analyst, regional and urban planner.
As I came to know more about world history, geography, cultures, economic and political systems, the nature of my questions
changed. I found that many things we study in sciences and arts do not ask the basic question 'Why'? Why do we have
so many wonders unexplained in our pre-recorded history? How come we humans create systems (our own creation) that we do not
understand? Why communism with its great ideals of equality for all fails miserably? Why capitalism with its ideals of free
speech and free market is also failing in closing inequalities in access and income? Why India, a great nation with its highest
spiritual insights and wisdom could not translate it in the everyday living of average Indians? Everyday, for seven years
during my hour long bus commute to my college, I passed through the indescribable poverty, and daily indignities of human
living in the squalid slums of Calcutta! I wondered, may be the wealthy nations like the U.S must be following some right
principle! Yet I was aware of the disillusionment of wealth from the hippies I saw during my many visits to Bodh-Gaya. I wanted to come in the States to see and experience things for myself.
So I came to University of Arizona, Tucson, as a graduate student in 1985 and got married the same year. First year was rough because
it was the first time in my life that I moved so far away from my family home and friends! I had to deal with the stresses
of living all alone, new marriage, in-laws, new school, new society and new desert land. I was somewhat forced to go
within because I was losing my emotional balance at times. For the first time it seemed that I was catapulted from a state
of grace to a state of great inner turmoil, the kind previously unknown to me! Why are human relationships so difficult? What
is the goal in any relationship? What is it we do not understand about us? As a child I used to look at the night sky especially
at the Big Dipper question mark for a long time! First time I learned of gravity and planetary motion, I got quite fascinated
with the thought that somehow we are not falling off the planet! It surprised me that the grown-ups are not the least bit
excited about that! I wondered what is holding all things in the space/void together? For some reason, I always wanted to
know and understand things from Universal perspective (not just human perspective) which bridges the physical and non-physical.
This led me to a grand voyage of exploration in this lifetime! I was always curious about the unseen and unknown than
the known. My spiritual path was one of self-inquiry, inner reflection and deep contemplation and answers came from many sources
including my own remembering or inner knowing, deep introspection and intuition. I followed a secular kind of Buddha Dharma without attachment to any beliefs, including the belief in any teacher or practice. Life itself is 'the guru'. I
had some basic understanding and exposure to Theravada, Five Precepts, Nobel Eightfold Path, Pali Chants, life of Buddha, and meditation. The process of self-observation through mindful breath (vipassana) was natural to me from a very young age. My many visits to holy places somehow shaped my later aspirations. As a young woman
I was clear about my core values (freedom, truth) and passion (knowledge). Coming here to the States from the nourishing
monsoon environment of Kolkata to the barren hot desert land of Tucson was literally like going away from the comfort of home
acute of homelessness.
Being a heart centered person I felt things deeply almost unbearably at times. Alone in a foreign land with no family or friends to
turn to I had to rely on my basic intelligence, wisdom and discriminating awareness to guide me.
"Having realized and comprehended all by myself, who shall
I call my teacher?" - Buddha
At some point, "What happens is that
either physically or psychologically, the guru becomes distant and you are forced to work things out for yourself. Then you
begin to relate with your life situation as guru. Everything that comes up in your life is part of the guru. The guru is everywhere.
At that point the inner guru begins to wake up." - Chogyam Trungpa, The Collected Works, Vol III p528
"Joyous is the appearence of the Buddhas. Joyous
is the instruction in the true teaching (dharma). Joyous is the gathering of the Sangha. Joyous is the austerity of those
who have gathered." - Dhamma-Pada (14.16)
"Those who, either now or after I am dead, shall be lamps
unto themselves, relying upon themselves only and not relying upon any external help, but holding fast to the truth as their
lamp, and seeking their salvation in the truth alone, and shall not look for assistance to any one besides
themselves, it is they, Ananda, among my bhikkhus, who shall reach the very topmost height! But they must be anxious
to learn." - Buddha's farewell
message to Ananda ---------------------- Affiliations:
Advisory Director, Foundation for Women's Education in Rural
world, An Educational Non-profit Oraganization (see reference)
President Of Treenaneel, A cultural non-profit
organization and Chair of seminar and movie committee for Bangamela 2006
Friend of Phoenix Institute, Lexington Shambhala, Buddhist Peace fellowship, Friends of the Art Schools, Friends of the Library, Bluegrass Hospice, Sustainable Communities Network, Lexington Friendship International, CitizensCreate, peace2day, wikipedia, Sourcewatch, Wanttoknow, P2P Foundation, Zaadz, Noetic shift, icommons, unMoney Convergence Member
in many online Proactive Social Change and Creative Solution/Idea Forums (some quoted in guestbook and Explore) Resume
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
We
moved to Kentucky with my husband's job and our newborn child. When my daughter turned almost two,I took a full-time job
with the city as socio-economic planner. This job matched closely with my skills, but I felt limited. I had to quit the job
for my own peace and sanity. After a year I took another job with the city, but here too I found myself very restricted amid
very unmotivated (yet decent) people. My only safe heaven was the downtown Library, where I spent many lunch hours looking
out the large windows, watching the workers in their best work suits pass by and wondering, why most of them look so
glum and despirited?
My job experience made me ask many things! Should we live for life's sake or for a living?
What sort of society we have created that requires us to sacrifice our lives to make a living, when the pursuit of life (
= liberty and happiness) is our basic goal? Why making a living and its methods (including education and jobs)are so disconnected
from life? Why freedom by itself (political and economic) does not promote happiness? What kind of freedom should we seek
that promotes happiness? What is real freedom? What is real happiness? What is Real? What should I do with my life? I got very quickly disillusioned
with conventional social life. I went deep into my 'dukkha', its origin, its cessation and a way for its cessation
unfolded organically. I kept following my own intuitive instincts and paying attention to any attachment and aversion that
disturbs my wholesome state and natural awareness. I renounced all worldly aspirations and embarked on
an inner journey with the intention to benefit all beings and serve the world's deepest needs. This is the only
way I could restore my inner peace, sanity and joy. There is an inner voice that I always had, sometimes distant,
sometimes very near and clear that actually guided me though this inner process of progressive meditative absorption
in the unbounded realms of formless, through a spontaneous practice of brahmaviharas.
Renounce all worldly goals and you shall
reach the highest goal."- Milarepa
|
| The dynasty of female Pharaohs (powerful masters) existed before the recorded history. - Ramtha |
I
realize now that the desire to be free, free from all tyrannies of inequality and binding social customs, traditions, and
beliefs is a basic human desire. Yet this universal desire has not been enough to set man free! Why? What supports or resists
the manifestation of pure desire? What is my true need? What is my true and essential nature? What happens to life after Nirvana? Do we really create our reality? How
far individuation goes?
I sensed it is not necessarily the poor and the repressed
who often live in quiet misery! I went deep within myself and turned the spotlight inward to myself. I contemplated continuously in order to connect with my authentic "self",
my own needs, my true nature and to my great surprise I began to understand the world I live in a clear manner! It also rekindled my lost passion for universal knowledge, wisdom and
truth. My inner transformation was quite rapid and always guided by self-inquiry and a process of stripping down my
usual social psychological self. An indescribable luminous self-awakening experience accompanied by illumination, a quickened
euphoric out-of-body ejection of primary essence (a wispy force), self projection of my illumined image in my bedroom
oval mirror, feeling of unearthly ecstasy, unimaginable freedom, bursting of all bubbles (akin to opening of a bottle
of champagne) and a deep presence profoundly and permanently shifted my perception of the world and the people forever! The
very ground was pulled away beneath my feet, as if whole reality turned upside down! I was not only out of body, I was completely
blown out of my mind in a state of naked and empty awareness (Dharmakaya). All dualities and mental conflicts ceased into
profound silence, sublime awe and simple yet supra-awakefulness! My ecstatic contact with the Infinite was spontaneous,
immediate and unmediated. Yet it did come after walking a self-guided path of deep inquiry and contemplation
that unfolded spontaneously in the form of noble 8 fold path. I wanted the delusion to end, before I can serve
the world or truely surrender my life to my calling. Looking back now, this singlur experience, inexpressible and
beyond words answered all my questions in a multidimensional way! This experience was followed
by other extraordinary experiences in next few years, including strange physical sensations, ailments, lucid dreams, simultaneous
life review, conscious flying, and the most unusual experience of being pulled by an incredibly powerful vortex of electrical
field (3 days after the awakening)! I felt every atom and cell of my body vibrating at such a high frequency that I would
be blown off the planet. It took quite a bit of willful strength to pull myself out of it, as I felt I am needed here
and my personality's learning is not complete. Following my own intuion, inspiration and synchronicities over the years landed me now to a spiritually engaged path. Buddha and Buddha Dhamma remains my core
inspiraton. Although for many years after my awakening I could not relate to labels like 'Buddhist'. Since Reality
is not one kind for Buddhist and another for non-Buddhists. Now looking back to my earliest
childhood question "does the world has to be this way (more hellish than heaven)?", I can truely say, "No,
not any more!" Things are thawing and shapeshifting behind the scene in all areas, and our human consciousness is now
steadily waking up from a long period of hibernation! A great urge to connect with the world and a planetary vision that arose some years after my awakening led me to create this site. My time, attention, intention and energy have
been directed towards realization of that vision. I had no reference point, context, language or label for the bodhi realization at the time, just a burning desire to be free and realize the ultimate Truth (Reality). In the years following my awakening
I experienced many vivid and lucid Shamanic Dreams. First such dream - a big white wolf grabbing a baby (myself) was quite jolting and came out of nowhere. I feel a mind
connection with Dzogchen, Shambhala, Theravada, Natural Tantra, Jnana Yoga, Gnosticism, Sufiism, and many other mystical traditions.
Only now in 2008, with the questions posed to me about my path, practice and lineage at the Lexington Shambhala (my first Buddhist Sangha contact), I feel the time has come for me to openly
share my unconventional path and life experience with other spiritual seekers. I am completely devoted to
knowledge, wisdom and truth that transcends all divisions and barriers to knowing and realizing our true self, our primordial
nature. Mita has no intrinsic reality yet she is still exploring the infinite depth of her awareness, growing in
her understanding of life - its rich interplay of emptiness and fullness.
Many blessings for your soujourn here
and your sacred path. Hope it helps awaken the thought of enlightenment within You.
Success "To
laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of
honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world
a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed
easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." - Bessie stanley
Current Path and Intention In every moment allow love instead of fear to guide your choices . Let go and allow love to flow through life's difficulties. To be or not to be? That
is the choice between denial and despair.Weave Your World with Web of LOVE ImagiaUniverse
Knowing
Is Not Enough; We Must Apply. Being Willing Is Not Enough; We Must Do. - Leonardo Da Vinci
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
